Be a Conversation Starter With Hypnosis Technique


Don’t Think of A Red Truck!

“Bypassing the critical mind, (conscious mind) the subconscious mind is most times overridden in the decision-making process by the protective critical conscious mind. If you can get past this gatekeeper, most anything becomes a possibility The simple instruction to not think of a red truck becomes negated in importance, as I am certain you just realized.”

When we experience a change of some kind, the unconscious mind starts to shift to its perceptional filters in a way which either re-triggers or revives the state you ‘re in. In the wording above, the verb doesn ‘t was not a strong enough command, so the conscious mind pulled up the file about a red truck of your description relative to your experience, painted it red and then realized I said “don ‘t” which was too late to respond to. Realize how quick that was?

EX: Buying a car. You see that car. You want that car. It is emotional. Your conscious mind wants to pull up the state right now! It does not want to wait for the logical mind to step in.

Did it happen in the conversation, that you think is resolved and then every 10 or 15 minutes you get angry again? This is an example of your mind trying to reset itself to the state you were in which in this case was a negative one.

When You are involved in an Emotional feeling and you are not in your conscious mind. This state of mind doesn ‘t ask you a permission nor it warns you and just automatically shifts to what you are paying attention to at that very moment and targets the active communication.

The Synchronicity of Emotional State of Mind

The Synchronicity of Emotional State of Mind

Anything in motion, this is physics here, expects to be in sink. IT Can NOT not happen. Not based on your beliefs here, and I will guide you as reliable as the law of physics. Once you try in getting out of your way then it will lead you to success. It virtually eliminates excuses and provides opportunity.

The heart has been proven through out much research as it is the largest rhythmic organ of human body.

The reason this matters to you, is because our nervous systems seeks synchronicity. Our bodies seek this from other people as well. Here is an important piece of information for you. You might notice how someone feels about something subconsciously.

It doesn ‘t matter whether you are you intend for it or not, this may occur. Almost for everyone this program runs on default and in the background internally. Automatically. We are unaware it ‘s there and causing us to synchronize with someone else emotions.

We are part of the problem today. Take the “random” out of our lives. We aspire for what we need as soon as possible. “Will it be the fact?” If you disagree that is your choice. I would say anything emotionally driven will want satisfaction as quickly as possible.

It ‘s really not about the choice of words during a conversation, as most people seem to belief. It ‘s more about the What we want to convey. So here is a part of Neuro Linguistic Programming 101.

Self-Demonstration Experiment

Self-Demonstration Experiment

Self-demonstration: Stand up. Close your eyes. Remember a time in your life when you saw something you wanted. You KNEW you wanted it. You planned to get it. You put that plan into motion. You went for it! You got it big time.

Stand the way you were standing at that very moment when you realized you got everything you wanted ‘

Breathe the way you were at that moment. Assume that posture. That physiology. Let that energy come back to your memory.

That ‘s right. Get into it. Now double that great feeling make it stronger. Keep going.

Now notice there is a place in your body where the energy starts of this feeling begins? Is there a color associated with that emotion? Point to where you feel it.

Notice the feeling of the energy this is having internally. Is it moving? If so, which way is it turning and in which direction. Does it move from say your belly up to your chin and loop back around again? Double the speed of the spin of it.

Absolute victory! Triumph being a winner without changing anything! Now try to feel bad. Notice you can ‘t do it!

Now, while feeling that emotional victory, rolling your shoulders forward, dropping your head, depressed posture. Now try to feel good. The opposite. Can you do it?

Holding on to that negative feeling will allow yourself to begin to feel a little more down.

While holding on to this feeling, shift your body back to victory posture quickly. Try to feel bad and notice again that you simply can ‘t do it. Open your eyes, sit down.

We try to control our current state of mind as an “act of will” we try to create a visualization or bring back a memory that causes us to feel a certain way. In most cases it ‘s a very weak way to going about doing it. There is a much stronger way to do it. Context, emotional arousal CAN override your well-intended willpower.

Willpower the Power is Weak


Willpower is the weakest part of you. Based on so many factors, like sleep, glucose in the body, and so on, research defines it as: Willpower= “The junk food of the mind”

Baumeister a book called Willpower is a good read on this subject. Google the book online for more about willpower.

Hypnosis and the Subconscious Mind

Hypnosis is defined as a process of making people do things against their willpower, and we have just determined most people have NO willpower, so there is no worry there. We do not exercise it enough for willpower to be in any way helpful.

When the nervous system gets aroused, the critical mind shuts out, and shuts down.

This is critical because at that time, now that you have an understanding of the basics and have been able to trance yourself from the basic demo you took discovered earlier, you begin to realize that there is nothing to fear about hypnosis. “No, I ‘m not going to make you bark like Hilary Clinton every time you see money.” However, this understanding will assist in holding back fear from having to approach and hold a conversation with someone you do not know.

Make Someone Pay Attention to you in 20 Minutes

Make Someone Pay Attention to you

We work from what we know or understand to be true. This will be compelling knowledge if you work in sales, and in relationships. Marketing does this so well. Did you realize you are being hypnotized in some shape or form daily from the repetitive input from ads you see? Yes, it is true and the very foundation of marketing.

The Three Magic Questions

Very simple Non- threatening questions that will fly under their radar. These steps will take you (slowly) deeper, and deeper into that person ‘s mind. Identity and their past. We all have stories to tell and these questions will make conversation happen for you.

If you find it makes you uptight about approaching someone you do not know or feel uncomfortable about beginning to speak to someone you do not know well enough because you have nothing to go on about their life, this could become a game changer for you.

1. Match their values

2. Shared emotional experiences. If you start this conversation and are able to create common interest, they will end up saying, ( or you may have personally experienced someone saying it about you). It goes like this, “I felt like I knew them all of my life”

Ask yourself, is this person someone that I want to engage. What do I want to get from this? Can I pass it up and bail if I want to? If you have no interest in knowing more about this person, you have the option to walk away from the conversation at any time. It is always in your power to do so. Want to know more about them?

3. Talk about their career next. Look at them. Catch the “sparkle” watch for what excites them. It ‘s a subconscious “hello”. Get them to bring up an identity. “I am a—”

4. Ask questions. Let them talk but LISTEN to the way they tell you their story. Now, they are engaged. Men tend to inundate with facts. A woman on the other hand, doesn ‘t care all that much about facts, but are taught to be polite and act as if the details matter. (there are always exceptions to this of course) If this happens, and one of you emotionally falls asleep, the connection is lost. So, if you are talking to a man, lead him to talk about certain aspects of his work or life.

5. Give them back their own values. Give them back their own words. A bond with you is being created! Ex. They say” I hate my job” Ask, “You you ‘re your job, what would you do instead?”

Passion In Life

6. What ‘s your passion in life? Again, let them talk. Get them to look at you.

7. Don ‘t impose on them however. Soften your voice, give them back their own words. If you make a mistake and they correct you, it ‘s because they want you to get it right.” It is your cue to listen and try again.

8. Keep your own head out of it. Default is going to try to kick inside your own head. Keep the state, use your body language to mirror theirs. See yourself bonding for the moment.

9. They may try to make their protective signal go off, so if you don ‘t get honesty by now, I would say, don ‘t waste your time.

You cannot fix or heal the other person. Responsible for self only, please. Be mindful of your body language signals.

If you do not understand something, ask. “What do you mean?” “I ‘m curious about what else you do, or where did you grow up (in a personal conversation) Bond with their past. It puts you there with them. Again, repeat the same words back to them. Notice that they will feel like they really know you and want to know you more.

10. Take your time. Allow processing. Is there in fact a commonality that you decide you want to go on and continue the conversation?

11. Do you want the same things, are your values similar is this person interesting and you want to know more?

In the corporate world, if we do not believe it, why would the client then believe it? You must stay in state to create the bond. I caution though that it cannot be phony as our mind can sense that easily. Nor would you wish to mislead if you are truly interested in getting to know them.


Are we really this easy to navigate with one another? No. We are just wired in this way. Communication is our innate process to survive, evolve and experience, but filters that someone else may have, may prevent someone from being open enough to want to share conversation with you. That is fine take the cues and move away politely.

A hint on body language about women is there is that women have an edge here. When we notice we don ‘t care to get to know someone, we move away from you immediately! An invitation is not sexual guys, its direct female permission to approach! Otherwise, you are wasting your time and will immediately be shown through body language that we are not approachable so please do not attempt it. We females are good at giving those signals.

Read Next : Living The Purpose Of Your Life- 5 Reasons To Begin Right Away

I hope you enjoyed this article, find it fun, and will practice this information. If it appeals to you. I have found it successful to assist many that found it socially difficult to maneuver and navigate at a party, or other event.

Many have also taken this approach and found it took the fear out of the pressure to start a conversation in order to explore a new relationship because they simply just did not know where to begin.

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Author: Davidene Bender-Main

Davidene Bender-Main is a Master Practitioner of Neuro Linguistic Programming serving others by working with clients on specifically tailored sessions by private practice, and virtual online sessions. Along with sessions, Davidene offers motivational interviewing, meditation instruction, informative group meetings, brainwave work, and is a published author. Neuro Linguistic Programming is well suited to manage issues occurring within a non-clinical environment and without medication. Davidene is easily found through her websites:, and on social media Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest

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